The Senior Common Room was unusually peaceful.
Professor Quillibrace had almost convinced himself that the afternoon might pass without philosophy.
The illusion lasted precisely six minutes.
Mr Blottisham entered carrying a large rolled poster.
Professor Quillibrace looked at it cautiously.
"My dear Blottisham."
"Professor."
"You appear to have brought educational material."
"I have."
"I wonder whether I should be alarmed."
"I don't think so."
"I generally become most alarmed immediately after hearing that."
Miss Stray entered carrying the teapot.
"What have we today?"
Blottisham carefully unrolled the poster across the table.
It depicted two enormous elephant seals charging towards one another upon a beach.
Professor Quillibrace adjusted his spectacles.
"I see."
Miss Stray studied the picture.
"They appear remarkably determined."
"They do."
"What are they doing?"
Blottisham looked pleased.
"They're establishing dominance."
Professor Quillibrace nodded thoughtfully.
"A familiar academic activity."
Miss Stray smiled.
"I hadn't realised they held faculty appointments."
Blottisham laughed.
"No."
"They're simply elephant seals."
Another pause.
"Although..."
"Yes?"
"...the resemblance seemed rather striking."
The Professor regarded the illustration for some time.
"I fear I know exactly what prompted this."
"I've been reading discussions about artificial intelligence."
"So the elephant seals are researchers?"
"No."
"University administrators?"
"No."
"People on the internet?"
Blottisham hesitated.
"...among others."
Miss Stray poured the tea.
"What did you notice?"
Blottisham frowned.
"Nobody seemed to be trying to discover anything."
"No?"
"They all seemed to be trying to win."
The room became unexpectedly quiet.
Professor Quillibrace folded his newspaper.
"My dear Blottisham..."
"Yes?"
"What does one win?"
Blottisham looked surprised.
"I beg your pardon?"
"When one wins an argument."
"I suppose..."
He hesitated.
"...one proves one is right."
"Does one?"
"I've always assumed so."
The Professor leaned back.
"I wonder."
Miss Stray looked at the poster.
"The elephant seals certainly believe someone has won."
"They do."
"But has either discovered whether the other was mistaken?"
Blottisham looked again at the picture.
"I rather doubt it."
The fire crackled softly.
Outside, students crossed the quadrangle beneath gathering clouds.
Eventually Blottisham spoke again.
"I've noticed something else."
"What?"
"The more public the conversation..."
"...the more certain everyone becomes."
Professor Quillibrace nodded.
"A curious phenomenon."
"Why does that happen?"
The Professor considered.
"I suspect certainty often has an audience."
Miss Stray smiled.
"We rarely perform uncertainty."
Blottisham looked thoughtful.
"But uncertainty is how learning begins."
"Frequently."
"So why hide it?"
Another silence.
Professor Quillibrace answered gently.
"Because people sometimes mistake changing one's mind..."
"...for losing."
Blottisham blinked.
"But surely changing one's mind means one has learned something."
"I should have thought so."
"Then why doesn't it feel like winning?"
Miss Stray laughed quietly.
"Because we often confuse ideas..."
"...with identities."
Blottisham wrote this down immediately.
Ideas are easier to improve than identities.
The Professor glanced approvingly at the notebook.
"That may be today's most useful sentence."
For a while they drank their tea.
The elephant seals stared permanently at one another from the poster.
Eventually Blottisham asked,
"Professor?"
"Yes?"
"If disagreement is valuable..."
"...why do people dislike it so much?"
Quillibrace smiled.
"I don't think people dislike disagreement."
"No?"
"I think they dislike humiliation."
Miss Stray nodded.
"There is rather an important distinction."
"So criticism isn't the problem?"
"Not necessarily."
"What is?"
The Professor answered slowly.
"Whether criticism is offered..."
"...to improve an idea..."
"...or to diminish a person."
The room fell still.
Blottisham looked thoughtfully at the two elephant seals.
"I don't think they're trying to improve each other's ideas."
"No."
"I don't think they even have ideas."
"Quite."
"So why do intelligent people sometimes behave like this?"
Professor Quillibrace looked out of the window.
"For much the same reason."
Blottisham looked puzzled.
"But we have language."
"Indeed."
"And reason."
"Yes."
"And evidence."
"Quite."
"So what goes wrong?"
The Professor smiled.
"We remain animals."
Miss Stray stirred her tea.
"Fortunately..."
"...animals capable of noticing that fact."
The conversation wandered for a while.
Eventually Blottisham looked up again.
"I've realised something."
"Oh?"
"When I argue merely to defend my position..."
"...I stop being curious."
Professor Quillibrace nodded.
"Curiosity and self-defence make rather uncomfortable companions."
"And if I only want to understand?"
"Then disagreement becomes easier."
"Why?"
"Because your opponent is no longer your enemy."
"No?"
"They become another source of information."
The afternoon light shifted slowly across the carpet.
Blottisham looked once more at the poster.
"I think these elephant seals are asking the wrong question."
Professor Quillibrace smiled.
"What question are they asking?"
"'Which of us is stronger?'"
"And what should they ask?"
Blottisham thought for a long time.
Finally he said,
"'What are we trying to discover?'"
Miss Stray looked quietly delighted.
"I believe that would shorten a surprising number of meetings."
Professor Quillibrace laughed.
"It might also reduce hospital admissions."
The college clock struck four.
No one moved.
After a while Miss Stray spoke softly.
"I wonder whether the finest conversations have never really been contests."
"No?"
"I think they are expeditions."
Blottisham looked at her.
"What's the difference?"
"In a contest..."
"...someone must lose."
"And an expedition?"
"Everyone hopes to return having seen something that none of them could have discovered alone."
No one spoke.
There seemed very little to add.
At length Professor Quillibrace stood and rolled the poster closed.
"My dear Blottisham."
"Yes, Professor?"
"I think we should keep this."
"The poster?"
"Yes."
"To remind us not to behave like elephant seals?"
The Professor smiled.
"No."
"Then why?"
"So that whenever we become convinced we have won an argument..."
He glanced once more at the magnificent beasts frozen forever in mid-charge.
"...we may first ask whether we have merely become more accomplished at charging."
The three quietly gathered their cups.
Outside, the evening had begun to settle over St Anselm's.
Inside, the poster rested beside the fireplace.
Several Fellows who passed later admired the impressive wildlife illustration.
Only three people in the College understood that it was not really a picture of elephant seals.
It was a portrait of what becomes of intelligence...
...when it forgets that its purpose is not victory...
...but discovery.
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