II: The Department of Continuous Improvement

The following afternoon, the Senior Common Room was occupied by a mood of industrious tranquillity.

Several Fellows were reading.

One appeared to be writing a paper entitled Towards a Preliminary Framework for the Development of Future Frameworks.

No one seemed alarmed.

Professor Quillibrace was examining a teapot with the concentration usually reserved for theological disputes.

Miss Stray was reading.

Mr Blottisham arrived carrying a glossy brochure.

Quillibrace looked up.

"You appear to have acquired literature."

"I have."

"Voluntarily?"

"Yes."

Quillibrace exchanged a brief glance with Stray.

"How concerning."

Blottisham sat down.

"It's from the Department of Continuous Improvement."

"Ah."

Quillibrace returned his attention to the teapot.

"They've had another excellent year."

"I'm sure they have."

Blottisham opened the brochure.

"They've expanded."

"Naturally."

"They've doubled their staff."

"Excellent."

"They've introduced three new strategic frameworks."

"Good."

"They've established an Office of Transformational Excellence."

"Splendid."

Blottisham frowned.

"You don't sound impressed."

"My dear Blottisham," said Quillibrace, "I'm trying to pace myself."

Stray lowered her book.

"What does the Department actually do?"

Blottisham looked surprised.

"It improves things."

"What things?"

"The organisation."

"How?"

Blottisham hesitated.

"By improving it."

A small silence followed.

Quillibrace nodded thoughtfully.

"The doctrine appears to be maturing."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

Blottisham turned to the brochure.

"They've identified over four hundred new opportunities for improvement."

"Remarkable."

"Isn't it?"

"Indeed."

Quillibrace folded his hands.

"The organisation must be becoming extraordinarily deficient."

Blottisham blinked.

"What?"

"Well, improvement opportunities appear to be increasing faster than improvements."

Stray smiled.

"That's an interesting observation."

"It seems unfair."

"Not at all," said Quillibrace. "The Department has discovered the secret of institutional immortality."

Blottisham looked suspicious.

"And what is that?"

"Ensure that success generates additional reasons for your existence."

The brochure lowered slightly.

Stray nodded.

"Improvement creates new opportunities for improvement."

"Precisely."

"And those opportunities justify further improvement."

"Exactly."

Blottisham frowned.

"That sounds circular."

"Most successful institutions are."

The fire crackled quietly.

After a moment Stray spoke.

"What interests me is the shift in focus."

"What shift?" asked Blottisham.

"The organisation originally existed to do something."

"Yes."

"But now increasing attention seems devoted to improving the organisation's ability to do that thing."

"Which is sensible."

"Perhaps."

She paused.

"But eventually one begins improving the ability to improve the ability."

Blottisham looked uncertain.

Quillibrace smiled.

"The recursive phase."

"The what?"

"The moment when a system discovers itself."

"I thought self-discovery was supposed to be healthy."

"It usually is."

"Then what's the problem?"

Quillibrace considered.

"There is no problem."

Blottisham relaxed.

"Good."

"There is only the possibility that self-maintenance quietly replaces purpose."

Blottisham immediately became uneasy again.

The brochure was consulted.

"They've introduced a Continuous Improvement Maturity Model."

"Have they?"

"Six levels."

"Only six?"

Blottisham ignored this.

"The highest level is Transformational."

"Of course it is."

"Apparently very few organisations achieve it."

Quillibrace nodded gravely.

"Salvation is rarely common."

Stray laughed.

Blottisham looked irritated.

"You two keep treating this as a religion."

"Not a religion," said Quillibrace.

"No?"

"No religion asks for this many quarterly reports."

The room became briefly quiet.

Blottisham continued reading.

"They've also introduced annual awards."

"For what?"

"Improvement excellence."

"What is improvement excellence?"

"Being excellent at improvement."

Quillibrace closed his eyes.

"Good heavens."

"What?"

"We appear to have reached the second-order sacraments."

"The what?"

"The celebration of the means independently of the end."

Stray looked thoughtful.

"I think that's actually the central development."

Blottisham sighed.

"Here we go."

She ignored him.

"The organisation once improved processes because it wanted better outcomes."

"Yes."

"Now it increasingly celebrates improvement itself."

Blottisham thought about this.

For a moment.

Then slightly longer.

Finally he said:

"I don't see the problem."

"Neither do I," said Quillibrace.

Blottisham brightened.

"Really?"

"No. But I see the question."

The brightness faded.

"What question?"

Quillibrace pointed at the brochure.

"Imagine the Department succeeds completely."

"All right."

"Everything is optimised."

"Excellent."

"Everything is continuously improved."

"Wonderful."

"Every opportunity for enhancement has been realised."

Blottisham nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes?"

Quillibrace leaned back.

"What happens to the Department?"

A silence followed.

Blottisham stared at him.

Then at the brochure.

Then at the fire.

Finally he said:

"Surely it would be responsible for ensuring the optimisation remains optimised."

Stray slowly closed her book.

Quillibrace looked delighted.

"My dear Blottisham."

"Yes?"

"You may have a brilliant future in management."

The fire crackled.

The brochure remained open.

And somewhere beyond the Common Room walls, a committee was almost certainly identifying new opportunities for improvement.