The following afternoon, Mr Blottisham entered the Senior Common Room carrying a folder.
This was unusual.
Mr Blottisham generally preferred conclusions to paperwork.
Professor Quillibrace looked up from his book.
Miss Stray glanced over the rim of her teacup.
Blottisham sat down heavily.
"I've solved yesterday's problem."
Quillibrace nodded.
"Excellent."
Blottisham winced.
The word was beginning to have consequences.
"It's not a trap this time."
"I see."
"I mean it."
"Very good."
Blottisham opened the folder.
"I spent the evening investigating human values."
Miss Stray looked interested.
"How industrious."
"Quite."
"And what did you discover?"
Blottisham smiled.
"That people value remarkably similar things."
Quillibrace folded his hands.
This was never a reassuring sign.
"Do they?"
"Absolutely."
Blottisham consulted his notes.
"People value happiness."
"Good."
"Freedom."
"Excellent."
"Fairness."
"Wonderful."
"Security."
"Very sensible."
Blottisham looked pleased.
"There you are."
"There we are?"
"The values."
Miss Stray leaned forward slightly.
"And everyone agrees on these?"
"More or less."
"How encouraging."
Blottisham nodded.
"It really isn't as complicated as academics make it sound."
Quillibrace appeared thoughtful.
"Perhaps."
Blottisham relaxed.
The danger appeared to have passed.
It had not.
Quillibrace continued.
"When you say people value freedom, what sort of freedom do you mean?"
Blottisham frowned.
"Freedom."
"Yes."
"The ordinary sort."
"The ordinary sort?"
"Exactly."
Miss Stray intervened gently.
"Freedom from what?"
Blottisham looked puzzled.
"What do you mean?"
"Freedom from interference?"
"Possibly."
"Freedom from poverty?"
"Perhaps."
"Freedom from oppression?"
"Certainly."
"Freedom to pursue one's goals?"
"Obviously."
"Freedom to ignore one's responsibilities?"
Blottisham hesitated.
"Well, perhaps not that."
"Why not?"
"Because that would be irresponsible."
Miss Stray nodded.
"So freedom has limits?"
"Naturally."
"What determines them?"
Blottisham stared at her.
For a moment nothing happened.
Then he turned to Quillibrace.
"Why does she do this?"
Quillibrace looked mildly surprised.
"Do what?"
"Turn nouns into problems."
Miss Stray smiled.
"It isn't my fault."
"That sounds suspiciously like something that is your fault."
Quillibrace opened his book.
"I think Miss Stray is merely observing that values often become less straightforward when examined."
Blottisham sighed.
"Very well."
He consulted his notes.
"Take happiness then."
"Excellent."
"There it is again."
"What?"
"'Excellent.'"
"I am merely encouraging you."
"I feel discouraged."
Quillibrace nodded sympathetically.
"A common side-effect."
Blottisham ignored him.
"Happiness."
"Very good."
"Everyone wants happiness."
Miss Stray tilted her head.
"Do they?"
"Of course."
"Is happiness the same thing as pleasure?"
"No."
"Contentment?"
"Not exactly."
"Fulfilment?"
"Perhaps."
"Meaning?"
"Possibly."
"Achievement?"
"Sometimes."
"Virtue?"
Blottisham paused.
"I feel there may be a wrong answer approaching."
Quillibrace laughed softly.
Miss Stray continued.
"If happiness can mean different things, how will the machine know which one to pursue?"
Blottisham rubbed his forehead.
The folder no longer seemed as authoritative as it had yesterday evening.
After a moment he brightened.
"I know."
"Splendid."
"We ask lots of people."
Quillibrace looked interested.
"A survey?"
"Exactly."
"We identify what most people value."
Miss Stray nodded.
"A democratic approach."
"Thank you."
"What happens if the minority disagrees?"
Blottisham blinked.
"What?"
"What if the majority values one thing and the minority values another?"
"We follow the majority."
"I see."
"And?"
"What if the majority values something harmful?"
Blottisham hesitated.
"Then we don't."
"Who decides?"
"The sensible people."
The room fell silent.
Quillibrace looked down at his book.
Miss Stray looked into her teacup.
Neither spoke.
Eventually Blottisham frowned.
"What now?"
Quillibrace turned a page.
"Nothing."
"You've got that look."
"What look?"
"The one where I've accidentally said something."
"I wouldn't worry."
"Why not?"
"Because everyone says it eventually."
Blottisham considered this.
Then he sighed.
"I am beginning to suspect that human values are harder to identify than I expected."
Miss Stray smiled.
"A promising observation."
"It is?"
"Certainly."
"Why?"
"Because you have moved from assuming that values are obvious to wondering how they are identified."
Blottisham thought about this.
"That does seem like progress."
Quillibrace nodded.
"A great deal of intellectual progress consists of discovering that the obvious thing was not obvious."
The room became quiet.
Outside, students crossed the lawn.
Inside, Blottisham looked at the folder.
The list still appeared sensible.
Freedom.
Fairness.
Happiness.
Security.
All perfectly reasonable.
Yet somehow each had acquired a surprising number of questions.
After a while he looked up.
"So where exactly are these human values?"
Miss Stray smiled.
Quillibrace smiled.
Neither answered.
For several moments the silence lingered.
Then Quillibrace returned to his book.
"That," he said, "is more or less the alignment problem."
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